Monday, February 6, 2012

All The Words

Had a bit of a cry last night. Sometimes, I look in the mirror and my thought process is... "My hair is grey. My scars are hurting. I'm closing in on 40. I'm old. My eggs are old. I'll never have a baby and that's why."

It makes looking in the mirror hard some days.

Days following often are filled with ways to put my situation in a positive light again.

Today's search came across this: http://www.chancetohope.org/p/blog.html. It's basically a "here's WHAT to say."

Yes. This, people. Pay attention here.

If you Google what NOT to say to an infertile man or woman, you get a lot of Top "X" things. And, yeah... just a quick glance through them, I have heard a vast amount of them. And you know what? They aren't necessarily meant to be mean or hurtful (though, some people can be that way, the majority of folks aren't doing it intentionally), but they are. They may not be intentional... but oftentimes they are not thought through either.

And I think that's where a lot of my bitterness has come from over the last year.

This process is hard enough as it is without feeling like you're being judged, doing something wrong or just plain stupid because you didn't think of X, Y, Z to get pregnant. This falls into the same pet peeve I have over people who, when faced with someone who has depression, responds with "well just stop being sad."

Infertility is a medical condition like any other medical condition. No matter how well intentioned your "advice" may be, really think before you put it out there to someone going through this. Because it's not as simple as "it will happen" or "just relax and stop stressing over it." And, to be perfectly honest, you just sound like an ass when you tell us this.